Friday, 25 January 2013

Chapter 13

Meet fifty .... 
Chapter 13

Driving back to the hotel from Anastasia’s apartment, I keep thinking about all the things Flynn said earlier. I really have to make up my mind about what I am going to do if she tells me that she wants to have a regular relationship with me.
I am absolutely certain that I am not capable of doing that, but on the other hand I really do not want to lose Anastasia. I am not really sure how she has become so important to me, but she has.
Earlier I stormed out of my meeting with Flynn, I think I will have to meet with him again tomorrow just to get some more things straight in my head.
I am still not buying his bullshit about me being in love, I know that, that is just not possible. This is just an infatuation that I will need to control like I control everything else. But I still need to make some adjustments, because Anastasia is still completely new to this, so I will have to be even more aware of how she reacts than I would normally be with an experienced sub. But I do not understand women at all, I can read them in bed and I am good at reading people in general, but when all that feelings crap comes out, I do not know what to do. I may need to ask Flynn for advice on that matter. Just to make sure that I do not fuck her up by being with me.

I have a lot of things to do tomorrow which is probably a good thing since I will not see Anastasia tomorrow. But then again I was not supposed to see her today, but that ended differently anyway. But I really should give her some time to go over the contract so we can discuss it over dinner on Wednesday. I am actually really worried about this dinner, it could be make or break time.

When I get back to the hotel I decide to email Anastasia before I go to bed, just to let her know that I am thinking about her and wish her a good nights sleep.
What I receive in return is somewhat surprising, she has gone over the contract in detail and is writing all the things that she is having doubts about.
I tell her to go to bed and then I go about reading her email in more detail in order to try to understand what her issues are about this.

2: Not sure why this is solely for MY benefit – ie to explore MY sensuality and limits. I’m sure I wouldn’t need a ten-page contract to do that! Surely this is for YOUR benefit.

I guess that she does have a point there, this is for the benefit of both of us. I can agree to that.

4: As you are aware you are my only sexual partner. I don’t take drugs, and I’ve not had any blood transfusions. I’m probably safe. What about you?
What the fuck does she think, of course I am safe. I get checked every six months.

8: I can terminate at any time if I don’t think you’re sticking to the agreed limits. Okay – I like this.
Finally something she is not objecting to.

9: Obey you in all things? Accept without hesitation your discipline? We need to talk about this.
That’s the fucking point of being a sub, you have to obey me. I am seriously beginning to wonder whether she even has a submissive bone in her delectable body. She keeps resisting me on all this.

11: One month trial period. Not three.
That’s no time at all. That I will definitely not agree to.

12: I cannot commit every weekend. I do have a life, or will have. Perhaps three out of four?
That is what I was worried she was going to say. That will not do, I have to have her every weekend or this is not going to be what I wanted it to be.

15.2: Using my body as you see fit sexually or otherwise – please define “or otherwise.”
She really is going all nitty gritty on me. Despite my extreme irritation at the moment I have to say that I am also smiling. This is so typical Anastasia, to pick everything out and not just give in to my demands. She really is not as submissive as I thought at first.

15.5: This whole discipline clause. I’m not sure I want to be whipped, flogged, or corporally punished. I am sure this would be in breach of clauses 2-5. And also “for any other reason”. That’s just mean – and you told me you weren’t a sadist.
That is just the point of being in a contract like this and it is starting to irritate me that she cannot see this. If I cannot punish her, then I will not get satisfied. It is when I punish a sub that I really let go of all my frustration and anger. I get to whip the shit out of a little brown-haired woman.

15.10: Like loaning me out to someone else would ever be an option. But I’m glad it’s here in black and white.
Typical of Anastasia to just point it out to show her defiance.

15.14: The Rules. More on those later.
Uh oh. She is not happy. I am wondering whether she is just picking this apart for the sake of it and then saying goodbye tomorrow, I really hope that she is not.

15.19: Touching myself without your permission. What’s the problem with this? You know I don’t do it anyway.
But I sure wish you would do it in front of me.

15.21: Discipline – Please see clause 15.5 above.
She is not giving in that easily.

15.22: I can’t look into your eyes? Why?
Stubborn beautiful woman.

15.24: Why can’t I touch you?
I am not getting in to that with her, she will just have to accept this one, with no questions.

Sleep – I’ll agree to 6 hours.
She is so stubborn, can she not just accept that I want her to sleep 8 hours a night so she is well rested.

Food – I am not eating food from a prescribed list. The food list goes or I do – Deal breaker.
Fuck, this is not good. Food is a big issue for me and I need to ensure that she is eating properly. If she does not want to agree to this rule I will have no possibility to hold her to it.

Clothes – as long as I only have to wear your clothes when I’m with you... okay.
Why can she not agree to accept gifts? Any other woman would love to receive gifts.

Exercise – We agreed 3 hours, this still says 4.
That will need to be changed. I did agree to only 3 hours.

Soft Limits -
Can we go through all of these? No Fisting of any kind. What is suspension? Genital Clamps – you have got to be kidding me.
I will have to explain in detail what all this is, I am guessing that with no sex experience at all she is at a loss for what all this is even though she has researched online.

I am seriously annoyed after reading her email. At this point I really do not think that she has a submissive bone in her body, but I am willing to ease up on some of the points in order to try and see if she does have a submissive side to her.
But I will just remind her what the definition of submissive is. It will not do for her to forget that.
I type out an email reminding her what the definition of submissive is and then I just hope that she will remember that when we meet on Wednesday. Even though I just left her a few hours ago I feel like Wednesday is a million miles away and I miss her. I can smell her on me, which is an extremely sexy smell. Her scent mixed with the smell of sex. But it would be even better if I were in her bed holding her.

After a few restless hours of reading and answering emails I finally go to bed to get a few hours of sleep before another day begins.

When I wake up early in the morning as usual I am not at all surprised to find that I am in a horrible mood and not at all in the state to participate in several dull meetings while my thoughts are straying to Anastasia.
Control freak that I am, I check the update from the covert security I have for Anastasia. I reminded Taylor last night that Anastasia is going to work today, so I expect to be informed if she goes out to lunch with anyone or anything else happens.

After the mornings first meeting I decide to call Flynn and arrange to see him in the afternoon, for just a short session to wrap up the one I stormed out of yesterday.
After a few more meetings and lunch it is time for my appointment with Flynn.

“Hello, Christian”
“Hello, John”
“I take it you were not satisfied with yesterdays results since you decided to come back?”
“I know I overreacted by storming out of here, but I was aggravated that you kept telling me that I am in love.”
“I will not talk about that today, you seem to be of the very firm belief that, that is not possible. What I would like to talk to you about today is how you will handle if Anastasia tells you that she wants a regular relationship and not sign your contract.”
“That is quite simple, John. That will not happen.” I am lacking the conviction of my words though.
“You seem very sure of that?”
“She has gone through my contract and is willing to negotiate.”
“So you are willing to concede some of your rules in order to accommodate Anastasia?”
“Yes of course. I can’t expect her to want to do all the things I normally do when she is inexperienced.”
“But you do expect her to engage in a full on BDSM relationship?”
“Yes, that is what I do. I have told her that I am not interested in anything more than that and she has accepted that.”
“Has she?”
“Yes, as I said she has gone through the contract.”
“Has she signed it yet?”
“No, she hasn’t. We are going out to dinner tomorrow to discuss it.”
“You are taking her on a regular date, to discuss your BDSM contract? Interesting.”
“Why is that, doctor?”
“You are engaging in something that is very normal for young couples, but the topic of this date is very abnormal to a young couple such as you are.”
“Let me ask you, Christian, how much are you willing to concede for Anastasia before you tell her that she is asking for too much and let her go?”
“I haven’t thought about it like that, John. We will discuss it tomorrow and come up with a solution that is acceptable for both of us.”
“Okay, I accept that, Christian. But how will you ensure that you are not pressuring her into this with you?”
“John, you know I would never do that and frankly it pisses me off that you would think I would do that.”
“That is not what I mean, Christian. What I mean is that Anastasia is aware of your attitude towards having a regular relationship, correct?”
“Maybe she will want to be with you, but from fear of you rejecting her if she asks for something other than what the contract includes, she might sign it just to be with you.” Fuck, I have not thought about it like that.
“She’s a grown woman and she knows what she is saying yes to.”
“Are you sure she does that? As you have mentioned yourself she has never been part of the scene.”
“I will go easy on her and show her how to be a good sub and train her. I will not take her too far.”
“You are so stubborn! I know you are very experienced in reading body language and will accommodate her inexperience. I am talking about her feelings. She is new to this and might be insecure, especially if she is falling in love with you as I suspect that she is.”
“Here we go again. I fucking don’t do feelings, you know this.”
“Yes, you keep repeating that. All I am asking is for you to pay extra attention to how she reacts after you’ve done your thing to her in your playroom. She may find it overwhelming and need a comforting shoulder from you.”
This is ridiculous, he cannot expect me to nurse her through this, she is a grown woman who going in to this of her own free will. Earlier I did think about this whole feelings crap, but now I am just angry about talking about this.
‘Okay, I will look after her.”
“Good, Christian. Now before you leave, I will ask one thing of you. I do not need you to answer this for me right now, just consider it.”
“What is that?”
“If Anastasia tells you that she wants to have a regular relationship, please consider that you are willing to concede and compromise on some of your rules in the contract. Maybe you should be willing to concede some of the barriers and rules you’ve put up around your personal life as well. Since you already seem to be enjoying such regular things as sleeping and eating dinner with her, I think you should consider that it might not be a bad idea to do this with her if she wishes to. I’m not saying you should decide on this matter right away, just consider it, Christian.”
Oh, this is stupid. I am not going to agree to anything, but just to keep him quiet I agree with his point.
“Okay, John, I’ll consider it.”

As I leave John’s suite I consider what he has said. I have already conceded too many of my rules, it is not going to happen again.

When I have had a shower I go to the computer to catch up on some emails, a little pissed that I have heard nothing from Anastasia all day.
When I sit down my phone rings, yet again. As the CEO I’m used to my phone ringing more or less all the time, but I’m not used to hearing my sisters screeching voice on the other end.
“Christian, you have to tell me about your girlfriend. What is she like? How does she look? I bet she beautiful, at least that’s what Elliot says.”
“Well, hello, Mia. Nice to hear from you. How are you doing?”
“Orh cut the crap big brother. Spill the beans, I want to know everything about her.”
“Look, Mia … this is still pretty new, so I’d like to just see where it goes.”
“Okay, sooo? You can still tell me about her. You’ve never had a girlfriend before, so you can’t exactly blame me for being interested.”
“I guess.”
“Christian! Just tell me something.”
“She’s a student at WSU and working part-time in a hardware store.”
“Jeez, Christian. You’d think you’re trying to give me her resume. Something about her … as a person.”
“Christian, I am not letting you go until you say something. Is she sweet, pretty, ugly – something, Christian.”
“She is really smart and sweet.”
“Is she pretty?”
“God, you’re annoying, you know that.”
“Yes, she is very beautiful.”
“HA! I knew it. Do you love her?”
“Enough! This conversation is over. Shall I pick you up at the airport on Saturday morning?”
“Fine. But I will drag it from you one way or another. But I guess you must love her since she’s already met Elliot and mom.” I figure silence is the best strategy at this point so I ignore her comment about love.
“Fine, Christian. Yes I would like you to pick me up Saturday morning. I can’t wait to see you, I’ve missed you so much while I’ve been away.”
“Okay, see you on Saturday then. Email me your itinerary and I’ll be there. I’ve missed you too, Mia.”
“Bye big brother.”

Mia was as ever extremely annoying, but I do understand her interest seeing as I have never brought a woman home.
I have to figure this shit our before I meet up with Anastasia tomorrow, I need to be prepared if she ends up saying no.
I am going for a run.

I don't own any of the fifty shades or the characters therein. They belong to EL James. I'm just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legals page for further details of the intellectual property rights for this work. 

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  1. I love hearing what he is thinking. Great job. I love it.

  2. Next please!!... Lol ya can't just leave me hangin

    1. Haha, you're going to think that every time a chapter is finished ;)

  3. Love it! You are doing a great job on C POV! Keep it coming! Can't wait for next Friday for Ch14. :)

  4. Great chapter, looking forward to the next one and the meal ;) x