Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

She said yes!

I still cannot believe that she actually said yes to the contract. Of course we still need to discuss the soft limits and she has not signed anything so technically she can still change her mind, but I am pretty sure that she will stick to her yes.
I have never felt this good, I do not really know how to describe the way I am feeling right now…happy I guess. Just plain happy.

I have some preparations for later, I am planning to go over to Anastasia when she returns from lunch with her father. I would like to celebrate her graduation and her yes. I will check with Taylor that the car is ready and I need to get some champagne, Bollinger, and read through her email again and the soft limits just to make sure I am ready for that conversation. I want her to feel comfortable in this relationship. Relationship, Grey? Since when the fuck is this a relationship? It’s a contractual agreement, Grey.

When I get back to the hotel I call Taylor to make sure that everything is ready and ask him to arrange for some Bollinger for me to take to Anastasia later.
Even though I have already decided that I need to call Flynn I just realized how difficult that conversation really is, what the fuck am I supposed to say. I know what Anastasia wants, I know Flynn’s opinion on this matter. I just don’t know how to do this. How do I give her “more” as she put it, when I don’t want hearts and flowers.
Then a surge of guilt flows over me, she wants “more”, she wants a regular relationship with a nice young man, who will shower her with hearts and flowers. I was so caught up wanting to get her, that I did not really stop to think about her wishes. I am getting that same feeling as I had the day I took her to the coffee shop, I am so not the right man for her.

Frustrated I sit down on the couch with my head in my hands, pulling at my hair, feeling rather frustrated. I have already established that I do not want to let her go, I cannot give her hearts and flowers, so basically I cannot give her what she wants. But she said yes!
Why would she say that when she wants more, knowing that I cannot give her more.

Fuck, I am so confused. What the fuck am I supposed to do here. I am completely fucked no matter what I do.

I decide that, that call to Flynn needs to happen. I need to get my thoughts strait and I need a strategy to go forward. I cannot let her go, that much is clear.

“John, it’s Christian. I need your help.”

“Christian, it everything okay?”

“Well, sort of. I’m just a little confused and need your advice.”

“What can I do for you?”

“I told you about Anastasia, but today she has agreed to be my sub.”

“That is wonderful for you, Christian. What is it you need my advice on?”

“When we discussed it she told me that she wants more, that she wants hearts and flowers. But I don’t do that shit and I told her that, but she agreed anyway. Now I’m just feeling like a shit because I can’t give her that.”

“You know my stand on this, Christian. I don’t see why you can’t bend your rules a little for this girl. It is obvious that you feel something for her, otherwise you would not be pursuing her the way you have been. So why not make some sort of a compromise?”
“What are you thinking, John? You know I can’t have a regular relationship.”

“Yes, you keep telling me. Do you like spending time with her, not having sex?”

“Yes, she is very sweet and intelligent.”

“So you can have a dinner with her, without feeling like you’ve been trapped?”

“Yes. Where are you going with this, John?”

“My suggestion is that you offer her a night during the week, where you take her to dinner and talk to her. Then it is your own decision whether you take her home and put her in your playroom. But at least spend some time with her not having sex. That would perhaps satisfy her need for something more and it wouldn’t kill you.”

“I suppose…”

“Christian, you’re the one who said yourself that you think it is difficult spending a whole week without her, this would help dispel of that worry and she would be satisfied that maybe you like her for more than her body.”

“But I don’t want to give her a sense of false security, John. I don’t want her to end up saying that she can’t get enough and I’ll have to end the contract.”

“Christian, from what you’ve told me, she is already falling in love with you, so from this point on everything you do with her will just intensify that feeling for her. So what you really need to do right this moment, if you want to avoid what you’ve just said, is to consider whether you want to take this any further.”

“I can’t let her go, John.” I could even hear the desperation in my own voice at this point. I have no fucking idea how to handle this, but I just cannot let her go.

“I know, Christian. That is why I am suggesting this. It will give you both something that you need and then you will just have to see what happens. She is not an established sub, Christian. She is a young woman with feelings and probably dreams of a loving boyfriend. But if you want her, you will just have to see what happens and consult me if something happens that you don’t know how to handle.”

“I guess there’s no good way out of this. I will consider what you have said, John.”

“Good, Christian. May I also suggest that you take an interest to her, ask her about the little things, like how she is, how her day has been. Maybe open up a little about yourself. Volunteer information on your own day. This will make her feel like you appreciate her and again not just want her for her body.”
“But she is my sub, it is precisely because of her body that I want her.”

“I suspect that there is more to it than that. I suspect you like this girl so much because she challenges you and is not just a marionette who does not have a mind of her own.”
“Uh… I’ll consider it, John.”

“Good, Christian. Just remember that she is a wonderful young woman who wants someone to love her for who she is.” Oh god, why the fuck did he have to say that.

“Yes…”

“Promise you’ll give it a try, Christian. I am nothing more than a phone call away if you need advice.”

“Thank you, John. And thank you for taking the time.”

“Not at all, Christian. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

Okay, so taking her to dinner. I can do that. I do like talking to her, I just do not want to give her the wrong idea. But then again, she knows that I do not do this.

I need to make some sort of decision, because tonight begins the Dom/sub relationship so I better not be vague in anything. I have to take charge and show how this is going to be.

I am going to offer her that once a week I can take her out to dinner. That should satisfy my need to see her and her need for more. Yes, this is the way forward.

Maybe I should show an interest to her, but then again, that may be too much.

I spend the rest of the day in the gym to get some of the energy out of my body.

I am restless and looking forward to hearing from Anastasia, but I need to make the first move so I send her an email. I know from the covert security that she is still eating with her father, so I decide to get some dinner and work for a while until she is home and I can go to her.

Finally she replies to my email and tell me that she wants to come to me, to discuss the soft limits. I reply that I do not want her to drive that fucking car, so that I’ll come to her.
I throw on my leather jacket and grab the Bollinger and the car keys for the new Audi for Anastasia.

When I arrive at her apartment and walk to her door I can feel myself getting nervous, the last time I saw her, she had just agreed to do this and then her father came, so we never really got the opportunity to talk. I hope she has not changed her mind again.

When she opens the door, I get that weird feeling in my stomach again. What the fuck is that…?

She looks stunning but a little flustered as she is staring at me and I can feel her eyes on me. I cannot help but smile, she definitely likes the way I look.

When we come into the apartment she goes to find some teacups in the kitchen for the champagne, since they’ve already packed all the glasses. I see the Hardy books on the table and look at the quote she’s written. What the fuck? She’s giving me back the books. That stubborn stubborn woman. I need to get her to understand that I will be buying her a lot of things and as my sub she should just accept them.

I agree to the conditions, Angel; because you know best what my punishments ought to be; only-only-don’t make it more than I can bear!

I also think she is trying to tell me to go easy on her in this. She is still not entirely sure, that I am almost certain of.

She confirms my suspicions when she comes in to the living room and then she turns smart because she does not want to accept the books because they are too much. She wants to donate them to a charity that works in Darfur. It greatly disappoints me that she will not accept the books, they are not something I bought her just to get her to capitulate, I actually bought them because I thought that she would like them.

But I am also secretly glad that she wants to donate them to a charity that means something to me, that means that she has listened to my speech and actually cares about that. Even though I am not at all about to talk to her about my reasons for supporting such charities, it still means a lot that she cares enough to notice that.

Then she tells me that it makes her feel cheap that I am buying her things, which makes me incredibly angry, why on earth can she just not accept that this is the way it is supposed to be and I am a superrich fucker who has more money than he knows what to do with.

Finally she eases up and we open the champagne and drink, it is my favourite champagne, especially now that Anastasia looks satisfied with it.

I am very well aware that I have not kissed her yet and I am actually struggling at this point with not kissing her. All I really want to do is lean over on the sofa and feel her lips on mine and enjoy her scent and softness. But I need to establish some ground here and show her who makes the rules and who takes charge.

She is very eager to start the discussion about the soft limits, but I remember what Flynn told me, so I start of by asking her about her last day at work tomorrow and we talk about her dad. We talk about her move to Seattle on Saturday and I tell her that I cannot join them and Elliot in helping with the move because I am picking up Mia in the airport.

Then she tells me that she has interviews for intern places, why the fuck she has not told me about this before irritates me like fuck. I can help her, she should tell me something like this immediately. But as she becomes more and more vague about where she has interviews, it dawns on me that she does not want my help at all. She wants to do it on her own and she just confirms this when she tells me that she does not want to tell me where, to undue influence. That does not matter at all, it will not take me long to find out where her interviews are, so that I can put together a profile of the fuckers she is going to interview with.

Before we start our discussion I ask her whether she has eaten and she answers cheekily and rolls her eyes at me. Oh my sweet girl, first lesson…

“Next time you roll your eyes at me, I will take you across my knee.”

“Oh.” I can see the excitement in her eyes and I am pretty certain that she can she the same in mine.
“Oh. So it begins, Anastasia.”

I decide we should discuss the soft limits and this is when she becomes even more nervous. We start by discussing sexual acts and she tells me that she is not that interested in anal intercourse, but I really want to claim every inch of her. I think she reluctantly agrees, at least she does not tell me to make it a hard limit, which makes me extremely happy. She asks if I have ever tried it and if I have done it with a man. I think back to when Elena did it to me. It was one of our first times together and I was mortified when she but the anal beads up my ass. In that age it was just the times when someone was teased for being gay and if I liked it, I feared to be judged as being gay as well. But soon that did not really matter, because the feeling was out of this world and extremely pleasurable and my orgasms where so much better with the use of those. After that I did not really care about it and later in life when my whole family started to believe I was gay, without saying anything directly to my face though, I did not really care.

As we talk about toys I cannot help but laugh, Anastasia is so inexperienced and I have never talked about this in so much detail as with her. Not even Elena introduced the toys, she just used them on me. When we reach the bondage part I can tell that she is very excited, which in turn makes me very excited. I can feel that my cock is starting to twitch and harden rather fast in my jeans as we are talking this through.

The hardest part is approaching fast; her feelings on receiving pain.

I can feel her despondency about this pain issue and I tell her that we will work up to everything and that I will not take her too far. By the look on her face, I can see that she is not entirely sure about this, but I will make her see that pain and pleasure is something that goes hand in hand.

Then we come to the part were I feel out of my league, but I need to suggest this for both our sakes. Even though I feel out of my league, I am certain that this is the way we should do it. Even after all my doubts this afternoon, the moment I saw her open the door for me, I was certain. This is definitely a good idea.

She looks absolutely shocked that I am actually suggesting this, but then again, it is pretty shocking that I am. But I tell her that she needs to accept my graduation present graciously for us to do this.

I take her outside to the bright and shining red new Audi and she is stunned. I tell her that the Beetle is a hazard and that her father was all for me buying her a car. That makes her crazy mad at me, which in turn actually makes me mad. Can she just accept the damn thing, to me it is not too much.

Then she seems to think better of being mad at me and tells me that she is happy for me to loan it to her like the laptop. God that woman is too stubborn for her own good sometimes.
Then she completely tips me over the edge.

“Thank you for the car, sir.”

I grab her and hold her close to me and kiss her with all my force and passion. Our tongues meet in an erotic dance, pouring all the passion into this kiss, I can feel her melt to me and surrender her body to her lust and to me.

Suddenly I am aware that we are actually out in the open in the middle of the street, there could be paparazzi’s or just random people recognising me and taking pictures of me kissing a woman publicly. Something that has NEVER happened and they could make a lot of money from it.

I am really angry right now, both with Anastasia for defying me about the car and with myself for being reckless and kissing her in public.

I take her inside with the intention of fucking her way into next week.  

I don't own any of the fifty shades or the characters therein. They belong to EL James. I'm just borrowing them for fun and not for profit. Please refer to the Legals page for further details of the intellectual property rights for this work.