Friday, 15 March 2013

Chapter 18

Meet fifty ... 
Chapter 18

Anastasia is slightly hesitant as I tell her what I am about to do to her. This is the true test of whether she is actually going to go through with this; if she says no to this spanking then I am afraid that there is not much hope for her really becoming my sub. Even though we just talked about the fact that she can stretch this out if she does not sign the contract, I doubt that she will ever want to accept being my sub if she cannot accept this punishment.
She uncurls her legs but does not move any further than that and I can tell that the wheels are turning in that beautiful head of hers. She is starting to pant and she has that fuck me look in her eyes, so I know that she wants me. I just have to show her that punishment is not a bad thing, so I push her a little and tell her that I am not a patient man and that spurs her into action. Slowly she crawls towards me and tentatively sits next to me on the bed. I can tell that she is a bit afraid so I need to get started so she does not change her mind about this. I tell her to stand up, which she does hesitantly and then I drag her across my lap. My own breathing is picking up and my cock is already hard. Just the sight of Anastasia laying across my lap like this actually makes me want to skip the spanking and just fuck her. But I know myself well enough to know that the spanking will only increase my lust for her and the fucking will be so much better for the both of us. But I need her to understand why I am doing this, because if she does not understand that her defying me will lead to punishment, then I am not sure she will accept being punished in the long run.
As I ask her why I am doing this I make sure to prepare myself for this, I cannot hit her too hard since this is her first time doing this and I do not want to scare her away.
I slowly pull down her sweatpants and start fondling her delectable ass. Slowly caressing and fondling, making sure that her skin is ready for the hard blow of my hand. I am not sure that Anastasia realises this herself, but she is really turned on by this, she is quivering beneath me and she is panting. I can tell that she is nervous of course, but the main part of her is turned on by this. I can see that her rosy folds are wet with anticipation and I cannot wait to feel her tight around me.
I remove my hand from her ass and smack down, not too hard, but hard enough so that it is still a punishment. Since this is not for pleasure it is meant to hurt a little. She does not cry out as I would have expected, but her eyes fly open and she tries to get up, so I move my arm so it is across her back so she cannot get away from this. Even though I have only hit her once, I am already extremely turned on my own breathing is harsh and I am trying to control myself to not loose it with Anastasia. It is very important that I keep remembering that this is not a usual scene with any sub and that I need to be careful. But that is fucking difficult, especially when she is taking it so well, I would have thought that she would start protesting or crying actually, because it is so new to her. But she just takes the blows fantastically, crying out every once in a while when I try hitting her a little harder, to find out where her boundaries lie.
She is wriggling beneath me and I can tell that she is getting more and more turned on by this. Her rosy folds are even more wet now and I can hardly wait to feel it around my rock hard cock. I do not think she releases how turned on she is, she does not seems to completely be embracing the feelings and sensations of it, but since she is not trying to stop this, I am confident that she is in fact enjoying it. I love the control this gives me, complete control of someone else, having a woman at my mercy like this is a fucking big turn on.
I guess I am starting to find out why the fuck I am so attracted to Anastasia; the fact that she challenges me is a refreshing notion, I have to earn to be in control of her, which poses a whole new challenge that I have never had before and it fucking thrills me that when she submits to me it is because she cannot resist it, not because she is contracted as my sub and it is the expected. I never thought I would be attracted to someone who is not that naturally submissive though. But she does submit where it is most important; sex.
This is a fucking big revelation; I need to talk to Flynn again soon!
The longer I smack her, the more she cries out, but it is screams of pleasure not fear. I am so fucking hard and needing now that my balls are actually aching to get release. When I have smacked her 18 times it is time to fuck her, but first she needs to release how wet she has actually become from this.
I caress her ass and then take my fingers down and caress her rosy folds and insert two fingers. Fuck, she is even more wet than I released. She is groaning loudly from my ministrations and I can feel myself getting into a haze just from my lust for her. I need that fucking condom, NOW.
I cannot wait for this condom shit to be over, I hate those fuckers. It is one thing to have to carry them everywhere, but I cannot wait to feel our skin connect there as well. The feeling of her soft skin tightening around my cock when she comes, not a single feeling inhibited by the rubber of the condom. God, I need her.
I direct her on the bed so she is on her hands and knees for me. This is my favourite position after a punishment, being able to fuck her hard from behind while I can see what my hands have done to her skin. The pinkness of her ass banging against me while I bury myself in her.
I position myself and slam into her, feeling her tightness around me. Even though she is so wet, she feels even tighter around my hard cock and I cannot seem to stop myself from just pounding into her like a madman. I told her she could come, but I can feel from her already quivering insides, that even if I had told her that she could not, she would have done regardless. That is how much the spanking affected her. I usually pride myself on being good at controlling myself and stalling my release for as long as possible, but I do not seem to be able to control myself with Anastasia. Whether it is her tightness around me or the fact that I am feeling something here that I have NEVER felt before, I am not entirely sure. But the second her insides starts quivering I can feel my balls tightening and my release is as close as Anastasia’s. Suddenly she bursts in a mass on incoherent screaming and muttering and her insides and clenching around so much so, that my release surprises me and I pour my release into the condom and collapse on the bed next to her. Fuck, that was intense.  
I pull Anastasia on me, so her she is laying half on top of me. Her head is on my chest and her legs over mine and it feels so good to have that intimacy after this. We are both panting like we have run a marathon and while we are slowly getting down from our high, I gently stroke her hair, which smells amazing. In the air around us, there is the distinct smell of sex and the laundry detergent she uses on her sheets, but the smell that hits me more than anything is the smell of Anastasia. Her hair and the smell of her arousal still in the air around me.
“Oh, baby. Welcome to my world” I am so thrilled that she went through with it and she is now part of my world. Even though she has not signed the contract yet, which she sweetly reminded me of before I spanked her, I still feel fairly confident that she enjoyed so much that she will sign it soon and will want more of this.
Just remember her wish for “more”, Grey!
As we lie there my thoughts start to drift a little and I wonder whether the sweats she is wearing is what she normally sleeps in, this beautiful girl should be in satin or silks all the damn time. I can feel myself being caught up even more in her spell as we lie there and I can breathe in her scent. Her breathing is getting deeper and I can tell that she is about to fall asleep and this is scaring the living crap out of me. The fact that she is laying across me like that and I am not even uncomfortable with having her head on my chest like this, is making me think that there is more to this than my mind can wrap itself around. I need to get the fuck out of here, even though I would love nothing more than to move us up the bed and let her fall asleep in my arms like this. But I also need to make sure that she is okay after this, since it was a whole new experience for her.
I tell her that I need to go and ask her if she is okay, all she says is that she is okay. I take it that she would not lie to me about this, so I get ready to get up and go to the bathroom to get rid of these stupid fuckers.
When I go out to the bathroom, I see that it is a typical girly bathroom with a million different bathroom products that I do not even know what is for. I have a feeling that most of this is Katherine’s though, since Anastasia does not mind using a plain shampoo from the supermarket. I clean myself up and find some babyoil that I can rub into her ass, so she is hopefully not too sore tomorrow.
Stubborn woman that she is, she will not let me do it and tells me that she will be fine. She agrees though and I let my hands caress her beautiful ass with the babyoil, I really like the feel of my hands on her, which I tell her.
As I tell her that I am leaving she will not look at me. She walks me to the door, still not looking at me, which irritates me a little.
When we get to the door, I get her to look at me and I kiss her. The feels of her lips against mine almost makes me turn around and steer her back to her bed. But I really need to get out of there. This is starting to go places that I am not at all comfortable with or familiar with. I go down to the SUV that Taylor has parked and deliberately do not look back. I am not certain on my own reaction to this. I am feeling things that I do not know what are and I have this weird sensation in my stomach and I am pretty sure that it is not a stomach bug. I am not entirely sure what to make of all this.
As I climb into the Audi I can tell that Taylor has a smirk on his face and not looking quite as unhappy as I would have thought, since he has been here for so long waiting for me to finish.
"All good, sir?"
"Yes, everything is fine, Taylor"
We drove in silence back to the hotel and I was in deep thought about Anastasia. I do not know what to make of all of this, but I am absolutely certain that tonight was fantastic. Anastasia was incredible, the sex with her is absolutely amazing and I have been with my fair share of women, but there is just something about Anastasia. She is exquisite and amazing. I decide to send her an email when I get back to the hotel to tell her how amazing she is. I will not be able to sleep any time soon anyway, my thoughts are all over the place. But at least she was okay with what happened tonight, that is very important to our future relationship.
When I get back to the hotel I answer a few important emails before I send the one to Anastasia. While I am working I realize that it will be some very long days before I see her again and in some weird way I actually regret not staying with her tonight. But that will not do, I really need to get a grip. Judging by tonight she does not exactly hate me being a Dom, so I know that it will not be a bad idea to continue this way.
She replies to my email almost instantly and has clearly not understood that I was trying to tell her how wonderful I think she is and stubborn as the woman am, she insists that she needs to drive her piece of shit car to garage to sell it. She then also defies me regarding the advil and tells me that red wine is more preferable. Infuriating woman, she cannot comprehend that I will make those decisions and that she has to comply.
When I read that she wants to make caning a hard limit, I do worry a bit if I have been too hard on her tonight, since she has come to that conclusion. But she said that she was okay, so I will have to trust that.
I tell her that Taylor will take care of her car, I really do not want her to drive around in that old junk.
She manages to royally piss me off with her next email, by calling herself “someone I fuck occasionally” and I was hoping that she know that she means more to me than that. When I chastise her in my next email I can feel myself get riled up and start pacing my room. That woman can be so fucking stubborn and really rub me up the wrong way. I tell her that she really would not like me when I am angry, which usually leads to me punishing with a cane or belt, which I am absolutely sure that she is not ready for.
I get shocked when I read her reply; that she is not sure she likes me anyway. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
What is this about? I need to rectify this. But I need to know why she does not like me.
“Because you never stay with me.” That sentence rattles around my head for a while. Fuck, she wants more.
As my Dom it is my role to take care of her and I will of course do that, but I also feel like I am putting myself out of my comfort zone by doing this.
I need to see her, NOW.

Christian Grey
Subject: You
Date: May 26 2011 23:14
To: Anastasia Steele

    Dear Miss Steele

    You are quite simply exquisite. The most beautiful, intelligent, witty and brave woman I have ever met. Take some Advil – this is not a request. And don’t drive your Beetle again. I will know.

    Christian Grey
    CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


    From: Anastasia Steele
    Subject: Flattery
    Date: May 26 2011 23:20
    To: Christian Grey

    Dear Mr. Grey

    Flattery will get you nowhere, but since you’ve been everywhere the point is moot.
    I will need to drive my Beetle to a garage so I can sell it – so will not graciously accept any of your nonsense over that. Red wine is always more preferable to Advil.

    PS: Caning is a HARD limit for me.

From: Christian Grey
Subject: Frustrating women who can’t take compliments
Date: May 26 2011 23:26
To: Anastasia Steele

    Dear Ms. Steele
    I am not flattering you. You should go to bed.
    I accept your addition to the hard limits.
    Don’t drink too much.
    Taylor will dispose of your car and get a good price for it, too.

    Christian Grey
    CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Taylor – Is he the right man for the job?
Date: May 26 2011 23:40
To: Christian Grey

    Dear Sir
    I am intrigued that you are happy to risk letting your right-hand man drive my car – but not some woman you fuck occasionally. How can I be sure that Taylor is the man to get me the best deal for said car? I have, in the past, probably before I met you, been known to drive a hard bargain.

From: Christian Grey
Subject: Careful!
Date: May 26 2011 23:44
To: Anastasia Steele

    Dear Ms. Steele
    I am assuming it is the RED WINE talking, and that you’ve had a very long day.
    Though I am tempted to drive back over there to ensure that you don’t sit down for a week, rather than an evening.
    Taylor is ex-army and capable of driving anything from a motorcycle to a Sherman Tank. Your car does not present a hazard to him.
    Now please do not refer to yourself as ‘some woman I fuck occasionally’ because, quite frankly it makes me MAD, and you really wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.

    Christian Grey
    CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Careful yourself
Date: May 26 2011 23:57
To: Christian Grey

    Dear Mr. Grey
    I’m not sure I like you anyway, especially at the moment.
    Ms. Steele


From: Christian Grey
Subject: Careful yourself
Date: May 27 2011 00:03
To: Anastasia Steele

    Why don’t you like me?

    Christian Grey
    CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.


From: Anastasia Steele
Subject: Careful yourself
Date: May 27 2011 00:09
To: Christian Grey

    Because you never stay with me

I grab the car keys and run to the car and text Taylor on the way, that I am going back to Anastasia. I am pretty sure that at this point he is not all that surprised by my back-and-forth act with Anastasia. I drive a little hazardous on the way over there because I am a little worried about her. I have a feeling that she is either a little drunk because of the red wine or that she may be mad at me.
When I run up towards her house, I find myself getting a little nervous. I hope she is not too mad at me and do not want to see me.
By a stroke of incredibly bad luck a very sour faced Miss Kavanagh opens the door for me and I realize that she is really pissed at me, when she greets me with:
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” What the fuck, I did not do anything to her.
“I’m here to see Anastasia.”
“Well, you can’t.”
“I need to see her, I think she is upset.” I just need to see her.
“What the fuck have you done to her now?” Kate is really in her element and she is not about to let into the apartment to see my girl.
“What the fuck do you mean?”
“Since she’s met you she cries all the time.” Fuck. She is upset.
I push past her to get to Anastasia. Kate has just confirmed my fear that Anastasia is indeed upset.
“You can’t come in here!” she shouts after me, but I am already on my way to Anastasia’s room.
I burst in the door and turn on the overhead light and find my girl crying her eyes out on the bed. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…. I think my non-existing heart just broke.
Kate comes up behind me and actually calls me an asshole. But I guess she is just protective of Anastasia, since she is crying and I am pretty sure it is because of me, I am just not sure why. If it is because of the spanking or the fact that I did not stay with her after that. I rush to her bed and turn on the bedside light and hand her my handkerchief. Even though the tears have stopped she is still sobbing, her breath caught in her throat.
I wish I knew what was going through her mind though.

“What’s going on?” I cannot quite figure out how to handle this situation. I have never dealt with something like this before. I just know that this is hurting in my heart to see her like this. But, Grey, you don’t have a heart, remember?

“Why are you here?” She is trying to avoid my question, that is quite obvious.
“Part of my role is to look after your needs. You said you wanted me to stay, so here I am. And yet I find you like this.
“I’m sure I’m responsible, but I have no idea why. Is it because I hit you?”
She tries to sit up and winces when her behind touches the sheet.
“Did you take some Advil?”
For the love of all that’s holy, does this woman have to defy me at every turn. I stalk out of the room to find some Advil for her, but unfortunately I am met with a still very sour faced Katherine pacing the living room.
“Do you have some Advil?” I ask her, without sounding too agitated.
“What the fuck do you need that for, what the fuck did you do to her?” Okay, so no civility here.
“Katherine, please. She is upset and has a headache, she just needs some water and some Advil.”
“You really shouldn’t be here, it is because of you that she is so upset all the time.”
“I am trying to figure out why she is upset, I’ll take care of her. Now, some Advil, please?” I get why she is so mad at me, I am starting to get a little mad at myself for upsetting Anastasia like this, even though I still do not know why. Katherine walks into the kitchen and fills a teacup with water and gives me two Advil.
I turn around to go to my girl and hopefully find out why she is so upset.
“Take these,” For once she does not object and take the pills, to my relief.

“Talk to me. You told me you were okay. I’d never have left you if I thought you were like this.”

She just stares at her hands without saying a word, so I have no idea what is going through her mind. I need to figure what it is though.
“I take it that when you said you were okay, you weren’t”
“I thought I was fine.” For fucks sake, she cannot just say what she thinks I want to hear.
“Anastasia, you can’t tell me what you think I want to hear. That’s not very honest. How can I trust anything you’ve said to me?
“How did you feel while I was hitting you and after?”
“I didn’t like it. I’d rather you didn’t do it again.” At least that is something. But if she does not want that, I do not know where this, thing, between is going to go. That is just who I am, I need that.
“You weren’t meant to like it.”
“Why do you like it?” I did not expect her to ask me that. What the fuck do I say to that. I cannot explain to her about my childhood.
“You really want to know?”
“Oh, trust me, I’m fascinated.” Fucking smart mouthed woman.
“Are you going to hit me again?” No fucking way am I spanking her again. I need to get to the bottom of this first, before I do anything else. I cannot risk loosing her over this.
“No, not tonight.”
“I like the control it brings me, Anastasia. I want you to behave in a particular way and if you don’t, I shall punish you, and you will learn to behave the way I desire. I enjoy punishing you. I’ve wanted to spank you since you asked me if I was gay.” I guess that is the best way to explain it, but she suddenly looks really sad again and her lower lip is quivering slightly.
“So you don’t like the way I am.” Fuck, no, beautiful girl, don’t think like that.
“I think you’re lovely the way you are.” The fact that she is so stubborn and challenging is so refreshing to me, that I actually do not want her to change. I just want her to follow the rules.
“So why are you trying to change me?”
“I don’t want to change you. I’d like you to be courteous and to follow the set of rules I’ve given you and not defy me. Simple,”
“But you want to punish me?”
“Yes I do.”
“That’s what I don’t understand.” For fucks sake, how can I explain this so she gets it.
“It’s the way I’m made, Anastasia. I need to control you. I need you to behave in a certain way, and if you don’t – I love to watch your beautiful alabaster skin pink and warm up under my hands. It turns me on.”
“So it’s not the pain you’re putting me through?” That really does turn me on, but I do not want to tell her how much, I do not want to scare her off.
“A bit, to see if you can take it, but that’s not the whole reason. It’s the fact that you are mine to do with as I see fit – ultimate control over someone else. And it turns me on. Big time, Anastasia. Look, I’m not explaining myself very well… I’ve never had to before. I’ve not really thought about this in any great depth. I’ve always been with like-minded people. And you still haven’t answered my question – how did you feel afterwards?”
“You were sexually aroused by it, Anastasia,” I close my eyes and remember the way her pussy was wet with her arousal, I could see it while spanking her. The smell of her arousal, her panting with need. I open my eyes and look at her, to try and gauge what she is thinking. She gets that fuck-me look in her eyes and I nearly loose it. But I do not have any condoms, so that cannot happen tonight and truly, I just want to lie down and cuddle with her.
 “Don’t look at me like that,”
“I don’t have any condoms, Anastasia, and you know, you’re upset. Contrary to what your roommate believes, I’m not a priapic monster. So, you felt confused?
“You have no problem being honest with me in print. Your e-mails always tell me exactly how you feel. Why can’t you do that in conversation? Do I intimidate you that much?”
“You beguile me, Christian. Completely overwhelm me. I feel like Icarus flying too close to the Sun,” So she is affected by me, maybe almost as much as I am by her. I think I need to tell her how I feel to put her a bit at ease. Make her understand that she is not just a fuck-girl of the week for me.
“Well, I think you’ve got that the wrong way around,”
“Oh, Anastasia, you’ve bewitched me. Isn’t it obvious?
 “You’ve still not answered my question. Write me an e-mail, please. But right now, I’d really like to sleep. Can I stay?”
“Do you want to stay?” She sounds so hopeful saying it, that I almost cave and tell her that I would love nothing more, but I can tell that there is something she is not telling me and I do not feel entirely confident pouring my heart out, since I am not entirely sure what it is I am feeling.
“You wanted me here.”
“You haven’t answered my question.”
“I’ll write you an e-mail,”
I start emptying my pockets and take my clothes of. I keep my t-shirt and boxers on though. That should make me comfortable enough to lie down with her and cuddle up to her.
“Lie down,” She lies down beside me and I prop myself up on my elbow to look at her. The feeling I am getting right now from lying next to her is a bit disconcerting. Not one that I am used to and not one I know how to interpret.
“If you are going to cry, cry in front of me. I need to know.”
“Do you want me to cry?”
“Not particularly. I just want to know how you’re feeling. I don’t want you slipping through my fingers. Switch the light off. It’s late, and we both have to work tomorrow.
“Lie on your side, facing away from me,” She does what I tell her and lies down. I pull her over to me and spoon her. I pull her close to my chest and inhale the scent of her hair.
“Sleep, baby,”
She almost immediately falls asleep and I lie awake listening to her heavy breathing. My thoughts are a jumbled mess of things and feelings that I am not familiar with.
I have my arm around her and my hand is tucked under her breasts. I can feel the warmth coming from her soothe me and my thoughts still their wild race around my head. Right now I feel an enormous amount of peace. Eventually my heartbeat slows and my body become almost become one with Anastasia as we melt together in sleep. The last thing that fills my mind before I drift of is the scent of Anastasia and sex in the air and I find myself half-smiling and feeling like all is right in the world.  

I am going on a very much needed two week holiday and will therefore only post a little short one for you the coming Fridays. It will upload automatically (all going well) since I will probably not have access to wifi in the two weeks. 


  1. Thanks for writing! Hope you have a great holiday!

  2. Another great chapter!! Keep up the good work Camilla

  3. Have a lovely holiday. You deserve it for the joy your posts bring

  4. Wonderful as ever!!! Enjoy your holiday!!!

  5. Great job on this, cant wait til chapter 19 is here!!!!

  6. Hurry back. I'm missing this!

  7. I was wondering if you were going to finish this? Your writing is amazing I hope you do!

  8. I am thoroughly enjoying this and so glad that I found this blog. Your writing is wonderful and to be able to read Christian's view is great. I cannot wait for the next chapter. Thanks !!!!!!